Cloud Computing - Future Business?

Are you bored of getting rid of virus from your PC? Do you feel if there could be cheap softwares for day to day use instead of frantically using pirated versions? Are you fed up of hard disk crashes and losing your data? Have you felt the need of having your personal data while you travel anywhere in the world without carrying your own desktop or laptop? How many of you stop using your computer when the internet is down!? How many of you search the songs on YouTube though you have a copy on your own machine?

I think it's time when someone will take the advantage of Cloud computing and become as big companies as Google or Facebook. Cloud computing is Web-based processing, whereby shared resources, software, and information are provided to computers and other devices (such as smart phones) on demand over the Internet. The technology has been already in use in the corporate world. It's not yet made available to the public. I have used softwares like Citrix where all my personal data and softwares are not stored in the machine I am using, instead on a server. So is the data of 400 colleagues in my office. My office desktop CPU hardly has any hard disk hence it's so thin like an Apple iPad!

What if there is some service provider where they charge you a minimal sum for the services I mentioned above? Then we don't have to carry our laptop all the time to access our data. We can have all our data on a secured server located somewhere in the world and we will be allocated some memory (as much as we have in our laptop) for some price and it should be only accessible by a secure password or RSA tokens!!

Moreover we don't have to buy daily use software like Microsoft office, photoshop etc as they will be installed on the server and we just have to pay a price shared by say 1000 people around the world for single software!!

This way the piracy can be reduced and the individuals can afford use expensive softwares like photoshop or cad/cam … The service provider should have a backup of the huge data in case of any eventualities the same way we have in our software companies. If this is the case even a simple iPad or smart phone could be powerful machine in hand as it is just used to access the data and softwares which are online.

But the disadvantages being the individuals should have high speed internet access and it will be a huge initial investment for the service provider. They will have to buy these hard disks in the order of Zetta(10 power 21) bytes. And also get approval from the software companies to distribute them on shared basis on internet. However I believe this will be an advantage for the software providers too.

In the years to come I am quite curious to see if such a provision will be available for common man like us when computer & internet becomes a basic amenity like food, water and shelter. I hope I'll be using these services sometime soon and getting a top-up whenever I need new software for a particular time and stop it when I don't need it anymore. Or I can ask them to add a 20GB to my account while I pay for it with my credit card! Ahh sounds like fun on the tip of fingers!!

PS: I am gonna sue them for copyrights showing this blog if someone comes up with such a technology :P .. hehe

Critics and suggestions are most welcome guys in the comment section! Thanks.. 

My first interview for the last turning point of life !

Tring.. Tring.. I didn't move an inch. Tring..Tring.. I woke up from fresh sleep and realized it was the door bell. I lighted my mobile to see the time. It was 10pm, I went to the living room to open the door to find it was a post man with a chit like thing in his hand ready to hand over it to me. ‘It’s a telegram sir’ he said. I was surprised to hear it, I used to think telegrams are extinct. I grabbed it from him and it read ‘Father serious, open heart surgery in 2 days, start soon’. Jesus Christ! but why a telegram, they could have called me on my mobile. I signed the postman’s acknowledgement and rushed to my bed room to call home. My home is in a small village where there are no mobile networks still. There are only few land-lines of which my home is lucky to have one.

I called the landline many times, but no one was picking up. I thought everyone might be at hospital. I searched in Google for phone numbers of hospitals at my village and another Google window to book the cheapest flight available to Bangalore. (My village is just 2 hours drive from Bangalore). I quickly dropped a mail to my manager about the news and about my absence for few days. I also mentioned the fact about the poor signal at my village and that I’ll not be contactable (this line will drive him crazy for sure).

I tried many times calling my home, few hospitals while packing and while on the way. I was getting more and more worried with each unattended call !! I reached my home by 7 in the morning. People are surprised to see me. My uncle, aunt and my mom; they don’t look so depressed. It was hard to read them. I asked my mom slowly ‘is everything all right?’ She replied ‘How come you arrived so early? Beta I am so sorry. We lied to you. Actually your father is not ill.’ I was confused and tried to recollect the date. No it was not April 1st. ‘Then what was that telegram for?’ I added in an angry and frustrated tone. My mom showed me the way to my dad’s room and left for kitchen. I can see he was all fine and he just finished his coffee and paper.

I repeated the same questions to my dad. He smiled to me and said ‘we got a marriage proposal for you, it is really from a good family and more over the girl is the only child they have. We cannot afford miss it.’ I was spell bound, they are nuts!! Then I realized why they were not taking my call. Wow, they are genius, they could not act telling a lie on phone and that’s why a telegram. Old tactics!! ‘Dad you can’t do this to me. This is crazzzy! Can you at least imagine how much work is there on my head at office?’ I said getting the picture of my ugly manager on mind. ‘Go and fresh up, you need rest’ he added, gently running his palm on my head. I know they don’t talk much until I get cooled down. I had my shower and straight away went to bed closing the bed room door behind me.

I woke up in the evening, had my lunch+supper and my mom was ready with tea and gossips. She told all about her colleagues (she is a house wife and no women is employed there). So is the girl I am gonna see next day !! My mom started pestering me ‘Don’t you think you are getting late for marriage? It is our duty to get you married. If you wait for few more years no one will give you a girl ;-) ‘ (That's the biggest joke she can crack on me!! Actually she doesn't want to hurt me cracking menacing jokes :-) )

”ha ha ha ha .. big joke! .. now listen I am a big boy now, I really don’t need you to guide me still. When are your duties towards me gonna end ? You know what? These days dogs are also getting married, why not me? First of all I need to settle in my career. I have to get married one day, it’s inevitable, even God cannot save me from happening that.” I replied innocently, hoping the next day’s program would get cancelled. Without uttering a word she left the place giving a hard knock with her knuckles on my skull. It hurts, she is all bones !! I thought during these recession times, arranged marriage is not a bad idea as it comes handy with lot of dowry.

Water sprinkled and then splashed on my face. I was waken up forcibly at 8 the next morning, and was pushed into bath room, but there was no breakfast on table!! My mom whispered ”have it as much as you want in the girl’s home!! ” Ah, two birds for one stone, practical example! Recession has crept here also! My managers can learn a lot from her about cost cuttings. “Oops I wasted water and soap taking bath in our home ;-) ” I replied sarcastically.

They gave us a warm welcome as we entered their house. The girl’s mom walked in and served us with coffee. After half an hour of gossips, (I should call it a battle ground instead, as my mom was boasting about me and the girl’s mom was boasting about her daughter) the food arrived and the girl’s mom heaped up our plates. The more I denied, the more I was served, I tried the other way round also asking for more, but in vain.

After few minutes, they asked the girl to come and she arrived for a fashion parade. I waited till she took her seat to see her (Can you believe, for most of the married couples in olden days, this used to be the love at first sight amidst their parents, somehow it didn’t happen to me!). She was a beautiful tall woman. She stood 5’ 6” or 5’ 7”. She looked gorgeous in a white, green bordered sari worn in a typical Andhra style and was heavily adorned with gold (I can establish 2 jewelry shops with them in future ;-) ). She has got a shy smile with couple of wrinkles on her cheek. Her thick black hair was flooded with flowers like a bouquet. Her hands were almost covered with mehandi and bangles, concealing the only part where I can get the view of actual complexion of her skin, as the face looked artificial with lots of make up!! She started greeting ‘Namaste’ first to my dad, then to my mom and when it comes to me she gave a big smile. She must have got enough guidance or at least had enough experience on how to treat the guy and his parents. I came to know that this was her 6th such encounter and it was she who denied all the previous 5 cases!! What an embarrassing moment will it be for me if she denies me before I do?

There was a panel of judges to take my interview. My “may be in laws”, “my may be wife”, her brother and few other guests from their side were ready to shoot questions at me. First one came from her mom asking ‘you liked the coffee?’ I just nodded, perhaps it must be prepared by the girl, it wasn’t bad. Next her dad comes up ‘Where are you working at?’ I can read the next hesitating question on his mind about the salary. I waited a while anticipating for that question. Then I replied ‘TCS, I work as a s/w engineer’. Most of their faces looked confused, before I added ‘It’s a Tata Company’. They felt much relieved when they heard I work in some company which they are aware of!!

“What kind of work do you have in office other than signing papers?” the girl’s mom came up with her 2nd question. Signing the papers? When did I tell this? This must be my mom’s exaggeration. “And how many people work under you?” she added to the question. Typical question but I have to answer it with wit. Burping in between I gently replied ‘I work on a computer hitting the keys for most of the time and no one is above or below in a s/w industry. It’s all about team effort more than an individual’s play’.

“Ah computers?” She instantly replied “If you don’t mind could you please do something to make our computer work which my son bought just 4 months back?” she asked me very pleasingly. I didn’t want to take any risk. I had to gently deny it patiently explaining that my job in office is more related to s/w than hardware of computers. I can read questions on their face as their eyebrows frowned, doubting my capability and knowledge on computers!!

Abruptly interrupting the conversation the girl said “I wanna speak to him in person if there is no objection (that is what I wanted to ask after some time to tell her all about how it happened!)”. No one said anything, smiles everywhere! I followed her into a room in the back yard. It was much pleasant there except for the bangles and anklets sound when she moved her limbs. I was totally dumbstruck; I couldn’t find a single topic in the whole world to start with! Well she had many though. She was staring at my lips for a while, I was not feeling comfortable and I realized how girls must have felt when I stare at them ;-) . “Do you smoke?” She asked me. My goodness girls are girls; that’s the reason why she was noticing my lips!! My interrogation already started! What if I actually marry her? I said ‘no’. “Don’t lie, I have seen you smoking when you were in school itself!” she added with firm proof. Feeling nostalgic I replied fumingly “what!!? so you know me much before since I was in school. Now listen, I tried smoking some 10 times till now. But I am not a smoker. I don’t like smoking because I have smoke allergy!! (and not because it is injurious to health ;-) ) I have no reason to lie you because.. ” I was stuck here, I swallowed the second half of the sentence. What the hell I was saying. I should have lied na, I have no intention marrying her! Hell, I lost a golden opportunity.

So what I can create opportunities. “Okie I can read your next question on mind. Yes, I drink a lot, almost every day. I end up all my salary and one day I came to my room with the bill and bar owner behind me. I asked my roommate to pay it. When denied I bet him mercilessly. And one day I even tried to snatch his gold chain!! ” I added all masala possible enacting and imitating Bollywood villains. She was open mouthed for a while, her next and probably the final question came in a meek intimidated tone “Do you have a girl friend? Don’t misunderstand me but I heard almost all girls in Bombay have boyfriends”. This is the most expected question and I had a premeditated reply. So I replied without any second thought “What do you mean? I’ll show you thousands who doesn’t have a boy friend or a girl friend in Bombay. I don’t have a girl friend; I have two instead ;-) . I am being so frank because its better if I tell bad about me than you hear it from someone outside”. Oh my God I was so professional in lying; even a lie detector machine will have to fail ;-) I felt like patting my shoulders. I gave her every reason to hate me and cancel the proposal :-)

I left for Bombay hoping everything would happen as I planned. Two days later I got a call from my dad saying “they were happy with you and the girl also quoted that you are very truthful and that she is ok with you” I was so depressed and helpless as I felt my last turning point of life is just before me when he added “..almost everyone was ok with the girl, I am not sure why your mom didn’t like the girl and cancelled it without telling a reason”. ‘Yes!’, I hanged the phone down and jumped on my cot overjoyed, my head almost touching the ceiling fan.

Now you must be wondering what could be the mystery behind her denial :-) While returning from home I tricked my mother saying “Mom, I want to marry someone who is more beautiful than you ;-) ” Which she or any other woman can never find ;-) New tactics!! .. haha 

Girls are Krazzzy ;)

‘You may go now…’ exclaimed my project leader as she gave her crooked winning smile ‘but come early tomorrow and finish off the testing before we have company at onsite (Amsterdam)’ she added. The clock already struck 8 and I have to dart to catch my last bus home. I have got no new words in my dirty dictionary to castigate her. Yet I managed to show my teeth and said ‘Yes, for sure I will complete the testing and send the code across. Also I wish to start off with the design part of next module.’ I was hoping to hear some encomiums from her mouth, but she didn’t utter a word nor looked at me. I failed to impress her and I was getting late, so I had to ask her the favour.

‘And …… and … what about my leave, Could you please approve it? I need to attend my cousin’s wedding’ I added. For a while seriously scribbling on her diary (that’s the way she thinks what to answer) she replied ‘come tomorrow and finish off the work, I’ll let you know after consulting your module leader!’ what the hell? Should I book my tickets or not? If I don’t, I may not get a confirmed ticket the next day, and if she says no after I book the ticket then also I’ll be at loss. She is very diplomatic; perhaps that is how managers are made. I should have used my grandma saying that ‘She expired’ (oops I have already used this fact many times with my ex-managers & teachers at school ;-) ). I thought even a fever or stomach upset lie could have worked. Yes only lies works with managers. Lesson: Never be true to your managers.

Grabbing my backpack, running down the stairs (my office lift never comes when I am in hurry), I felt relieved when I saw my bus waiting. I boarded the bus and took my seat at the centre of the bus to the aisle and right below a light so that I can read my novel. I barely noticed that I was sitting beside a guy who was busy on his mobile.

Most of my colleagues have this habit of calling someone or other whenever they find some leisure time. It’s a common sight in the office premises that people are seen with either tea or cigarette in one hand but a mobile in the other hand. People are so much obsessed and addicted to mobile that they can’t live without it. Mobile comes next to air and water; but before food and shelter in basic amenities of humans these days.

The voice from his mobile speaker was slightly audible. Although I couldn’t hear everything properly, I was able to make out that it was a girl on the other side of the phone. She was talking endlessly in high pitch, excitedly and was exaggerating about something. This guy hardly got any chance to speak over. I heard him speak only mono syllables (umm, no, ok, oh, so ..) in between. It happens :-( It happened with my dad, my grand pa, may be with me and probably with many men that they don’t get much to talk. And there is this most disgusting one liner from the girls when they say ‘you talk very less, you also tell something’ and before the guy feels happy that he could now open his mouth, the girl must have had started with another topic; bla bla bla ..

To quote a very good incident (guys you can adopt this trick!!); I have a friend in Pune. She called me one night when I was ready to open a pizza parcel, just delivered steaming hot, with my mouth watered. I wanted to take the call (because if I don’t she would go Mike Tyson on me) and also have my pizza while it was hot. So I picked the call, put it on speaker and left the reporter to narrate news and gossips. I opened my pizza and enjoyed it thoroughly but yes all I had to do was sound the mono syllables in between. In the end I got chance to speak and I also told her that I just had a pizza. She thought I had it before she called me ;-)

I took my novel out and continued to read the story from the page marker, when suddenly I heard the guy who is sitting next to me say repeatedly ‘I love you, I love you …’ perhaps for 3 times or even more (I could have counted it for him but I was left breathless). I was scared initially, then confused and then I thought that I can never do such a wild thing in public.

My eyebrows frowned, my eyes wide open, my eye balls popped out, my ears stretched to his mobile and 101 doubts scattered on my brain in those few seconds wondering what could be the reason for his strange reaction. Biting my nails, I thought the girl must have accepted his proposal and this guy must be glad Or may be their quarrel must have had ended Or if they weren’t still married, the girl’s parents must have accepted him. What do you think, if you were in my place? I felt like asking him the reason for his excitement. I was so curious, I just wanted to check whether his answer will match one of my doubts or not :-)

I could hear the girl’s guffawing now, she seems amused. This guy said a meek ‘bye’ to her. He hung the phone down, resting his head on his palm and murmured to himself “kya pakati hain yaar e ladki”. Holy shit, I never expected such a serious joke! I wanted to laugh uncontrollably rolling on the floor but couldn't, seeing the face of that poor guy ;-) He looks intimidated by the girl’s voice itself. What would be his situation when he actually meets her? (In her presence, he must be like a street dog with its tail winded up in its hind legs when it sees a huge hound :-) ) Guess what he must be yelling like that daily, when ever his girl/wife asks for or when ever his girl is angry or whatever. I pitied him in hearts. I recommend euthanasia to him ;-) haha… Girls are funny.. no crazy.. no no scary !!

Later I tried to take a nap but the filthy roads and air of Mumbai didn’t let me rest peacefully. I thought it would be better if I call my mom to kill the time. She always complains that these days I don’t call her often. I had to call on the land-line as no one was picking up the mobile phone at my home. My mom lifted the call and said ‘hello’. Impatiently I asked her ‘can’t u hear the mobile ring?’ And from the other end, ‘Arey beta, is it you?’ she answered in a surprising tone ‘I don’t know, I couldn’t hear it. Anyways, I am watching a serial on star plus. Do you mind calling back at half past 8, but before 9pm?’ and before I denied, the phone was already hanged up!!! This is the height of addiction of house wives to family serials. Can someone tell me where I can find Ekta Kapoor? My poor dad had to buy another TV to watch cricket matches.

I had a glance at the people in the bus. Most of them were sleeping, some on mobiles, some were in deep thinking, few of my friends were playing antyakshari at the rear seats, they beckoned me to join but I denied as I was out of mood thinking whether I would get a leave or not. With mixed emotions, I watched the uninteresting traffic jams before I reached my room.

Notice: For few days I will be out of reach as I will be moving to a safer place away from the women activists ;-) hehe

Education — A pain in the ass of every child!!

“I was born intelligent, but education ruined me!!” — Anonymous. I am not aware of education system followed in other countries. But in India it’s pathetic and parents just catalyze it!!

If anyone asks me why you have chosen to be an engineer, I’ll say my dad wished for it and yes even forced me to do it. Though he was a bit generous to me giving two options (Engineer or Doctor?) when I finished my 10th standard successfully in just one attempt! The later was even worse for two reasons I didn’t opted for it. One is I don’t like to be a butcher (then I was a vegetarian!) and the other a medico is not certain when he finishes his education and earns money (forget about marriage and children ;) ) !

When I watch discovery, Ftv, or any sports channel, I feel very frustrated when I see people doing great adventures and the fabulous, meaningful life they live. Sometimes I think ‘kaha aake phas gaya hun yaar as a s/w engineer ‘. I always dreamt of being either a good athlete or a fashion designer or a five start hotel chef. To emphasize, yes I have my strong points which I believe would have fetched me one of the above professions, if my parents would have encouraged me to do so.

I came 2nd in 800 and 1500 meters track at school. I wasn’t aware of my capabilities until I got a chance to run when there was a vacant place for my school team. Other fellows didn’t even dare to try to run so long! I was the school chess champ for the year ‘99. I started learning cooking at the age of 14, I hate cooking same dish again and again like house wives, but I love experimenting! I used to mix different masalas to invent something. I used to like the aroma at least, though the food was not even tasted by my dog ;) When left alone at home, I used to watch Ftv, very fascinated by the photographers and their paradise land, photography has also inspired me.

I used to have this friend, Kiran. His dad is a big loser. He made no big efforts other than dreaming to become an IAS officer. And now he wants his son to do it, virtually making him follow his wrong steps. He never tried to find his son’s strong and weak points, neither my dad did!

I also had this friend Neha, another victim of her parent’s aspirations. She wanted to do engineering as it is quick to get settled down and earn. But her parents insisted her to do medicine. After 6 long years of MBBS, she now settled as house wife of a NRI engineer in US!!

One more funny case was there were twins in my class. I don’t think they ever bought two sets of text books in school, but I believe they maintained their home work books separately! After matriculating, their dad asked them to study anything but same!! That’s because there is no need to buy two different text books in case they opt for different fields!! They nick named their dad ‘Kanjus Hitler’. I believe they will get married also on the same day!!

In school we used to have 4 unit exams and 3 big exams namely quarterly, half yearly and final exams for a year. 7 exams in 10 months!! Apart from these, we used to have class tests, surprise tests, quizzes, home works, assignments, practicals and what not!! And the most fcuking part is we were loaded with assignments in summer vacation!! I believe even parents don’t like that. Each time I came home after writing an exam my dad used to ask me ‘will you come first at least this time?’ and one day I answered back ‘Perhaps God also doesn’t know!!’ and guess what, bang.. as though a bomb blasted ; a tight slap. Aftermath, I couldn’t hear anything properly for 4 hours!!

My dad used to take me and my brother to circus, movies and parks seldom. He repeatedly used to tell us that his dad has taken him only twice to circus in his child hood. So he has taken us thrice!!! While enjoying the circus feats, I used to pray God to let the time stand still and I didn’t want the circus to end. After the circus show ended, in 15 minutes my dad brought us back home and made us sit to study, we didn’t even got time to discuss about the magics performed in the circus! It proved in 15 minutes one can reach from heaven to hell!!

My dad didn’t used to give us pocket money :( Reason: his dad used to give him and he learnt smoking and even got addicted in school itself!! He always regrets that he learnt smoking with his dad’s money!! I hated my grand pa for giving him money!! But we were so desperate to eat the ice creams, buy tops and kites at school. That made me naughtier and more innovative. To quote an example once my dad asked me to buy a ‘All Out’ refill pack; I filled the used empty refill pack with refined oil and packed it with an old cover and gave it to him ( that was the last refill pack we ever used at home, because it never worked against mosquitoes ;) and it never emptied, that’s because the boiling point of oil is much higher than the temperature produced by the heating coil of All Out machine!! ). And I was happy for a week eating ice creams, because I earned it instead buying ;)

And when caught for doing such mischievous things, we were punished severely. My dad also used to pound me for scoring less in exams. Of course yaar, I used to tell him that I already got punished from my teacher at school, but that didn’t help me to get a double quota from my dad also!! In UK I saw no child cry or were beaten or even pestered to study by their parents. My dad punished us because his dad did? Or his colleagues also do? Or is it a custom in India? I wonder what I would do when I have a child one day!! I wish my child have my dad as his son and he takes revenge on him … good idea na ;) Anyways I am gonna show circus to my child at least 4 times.. he he and give him pocket money because one I don’t smoke and two I can’t sleep without an All Out ;)

PS: The character mentioned above is partly me and the rest is written imagining about a typical Indian child. I hope my dad doesn’t come across this blog, if that happens I am sure he will kill me ;)