Girls are Krazzzy ;)

‘You may go now…’ exclaimed my project leader as she gave her crooked winning smile ‘but come early tomorrow and finish off the testing before we have company at onsite (Amsterdam)’ she added. The clock already struck 8 and I have to dart to catch my last bus home. I have got no new words in my dirty dictionary to castigate her. Yet I managed to show my teeth and said ‘Yes, for sure I will complete the testing and send the code across. Also I wish to start off with the design part of next module.’ I was hoping to hear some encomiums from her mouth, but she didn’t utter a word nor looked at me. I failed to impress her and I was getting late, so I had to ask her the favour.

‘And …… and … what about my leave, Could you please approve it? I need to attend my cousin’s wedding’ I added. For a while seriously scribbling on her diary (that’s the way she thinks what to answer) she replied ‘come tomorrow and finish off the work, I’ll let you know after consulting your module leader!’ what the hell? Should I book my tickets or not? If I don’t, I may not get a confirmed ticket the next day, and if she says no after I book the ticket then also I’ll be at loss. She is very diplomatic; perhaps that is how managers are made. I should have used my grandma saying that ‘She expired’ (oops I have already used this fact many times with my ex-managers & teachers at school ;-) ). I thought even a fever or stomach upset lie could have worked. Yes only lies works with managers. Lesson: Never be true to your managers.

Grabbing my backpack, running down the stairs (my office lift never comes when I am in hurry), I felt relieved when I saw my bus waiting. I boarded the bus and took my seat at the centre of the bus to the aisle and right below a light so that I can read my novel. I barely noticed that I was sitting beside a guy who was busy on his mobile.

Most of my colleagues have this habit of calling someone or other whenever they find some leisure time. It’s a common sight in the office premises that people are seen with either tea or cigarette in one hand but a mobile in the other hand. People are so much obsessed and addicted to mobile that they can’t live without it. Mobile comes next to air and water; but before food and shelter in basic amenities of humans these days.

The voice from his mobile speaker was slightly audible. Although I couldn’t hear everything properly, I was able to make out that it was a girl on the other side of the phone. She was talking endlessly in high pitch, excitedly and was exaggerating about something. This guy hardly got any chance to speak over. I heard him speak only mono syllables (umm, no, ok, oh, so ..) in between. It happens :-( It happened with my dad, my grand pa, may be with me and probably with many men that they don’t get much to talk. And there is this most disgusting one liner from the girls when they say ‘you talk very less, you also tell something’ and before the guy feels happy that he could now open his mouth, the girl must have had started with another topic; bla bla bla ..

To quote a very good incident (guys you can adopt this trick!!); I have a friend in Pune. She called me one night when I was ready to open a pizza parcel, just delivered steaming hot, with my mouth watered. I wanted to take the call (because if I don’t she would go Mike Tyson on me) and also have my pizza while it was hot. So I picked the call, put it on speaker and left the reporter to narrate news and gossips. I opened my pizza and enjoyed it thoroughly but yes all I had to do was sound the mono syllables in between. In the end I got chance to speak and I also told her that I just had a pizza. She thought I had it before she called me ;-)

I took my novel out and continued to read the story from the page marker, when suddenly I heard the guy who is sitting next to me say repeatedly ‘I love you, I love you …’ perhaps for 3 times or even more (I could have counted it for him but I was left breathless). I was scared initially, then confused and then I thought that I can never do such a wild thing in public.

My eyebrows frowned, my eyes wide open, my eye balls popped out, my ears stretched to his mobile and 101 doubts scattered on my brain in those few seconds wondering what could be the reason for his strange reaction. Biting my nails, I thought the girl must have accepted his proposal and this guy must be glad Or may be their quarrel must have had ended Or if they weren’t still married, the girl’s parents must have accepted him. What do you think, if you were in my place? I felt like asking him the reason for his excitement. I was so curious, I just wanted to check whether his answer will match one of my doubts or not :-)

I could hear the girl’s guffawing now, she seems amused. This guy said a meek ‘bye’ to her. He hung the phone down, resting his head on his palm and murmured to himself “kya pakati hain yaar e ladki”. Holy shit, I never expected such a serious joke! I wanted to laugh uncontrollably rolling on the floor but couldn't, seeing the face of that poor guy ;-) He looks intimidated by the girl’s voice itself. What would be his situation when he actually meets her? (In her presence, he must be like a street dog with its tail winded up in its hind legs when it sees a huge hound :-) ) Guess what he must be yelling like that daily, when ever his girl/wife asks for or when ever his girl is angry or whatever. I pitied him in hearts. I recommend euthanasia to him ;-) haha… Girls are funny.. no crazy.. no no scary !!

Later I tried to take a nap but the filthy roads and air of Mumbai didn’t let me rest peacefully. I thought it would be better if I call my mom to kill the time. She always complains that these days I don’t call her often. I had to call on the land-line as no one was picking up the mobile phone at my home. My mom lifted the call and said ‘hello’. Impatiently I asked her ‘can’t u hear the mobile ring?’ And from the other end, ‘Arey beta, is it you?’ she answered in a surprising tone ‘I don’t know, I couldn’t hear it. Anyways, I am watching a serial on star plus. Do you mind calling back at half past 8, but before 9pm?’ and before I denied, the phone was already hanged up!!! This is the height of addiction of house wives to family serials. Can someone tell me where I can find Ekta Kapoor? My poor dad had to buy another TV to watch cricket matches.

I had a glance at the people in the bus. Most of them were sleeping, some on mobiles, some were in deep thinking, few of my friends were playing antyakshari at the rear seats, they beckoned me to join but I denied as I was out of mood thinking whether I would get a leave or not. With mixed emotions, I watched the uninteresting traffic jams before I reached my room.

Notice: For few days I will be out of reach as I will be moving to a safer place away from the women activists ;-) hehe